I really don’t undestand this. It is something that really bothers me, so bloody much.
I was at work the other week. You see I currently work as an events organiser for a school. Now in this school there are many different members of staff of differet ages, race, and obviously of both genders. I was in the staff room making myself my usual cup of vanilla Israeli coffee with milk, 3 sweetners, and a little cocoa powder just sprikled on the top, when all of a sudden I stopped.
My nose became congested with what I can only describe as one of the most repulsive and unapealing smells ever to penetrate my olfactory sense. It was one of those smells which are so potent you can literally taste it!!
However you must know that smells which you can taste are not always revolting. Petrol smells damn good and makes you want to try it. Also the strawberry flavoured liquorice has an extremely potent smell which entices one to eat it. Fuck it most good foods make you wonna munch it…howevr this is just going off topic.
Anyways, so I turn around to see one of the elder generation of teachers standing right next to me waiting to use the kettle. He greeted me and I did something which I came out so wrong. I tried to talk whilst not breathing in or out of my nose or mouth. OMG i sounded like such a twat. Trying to talk, whilst blocking the smell from my nose and make conversation, so fucking awkward that he actuall asked if I had a cold. I COULD STILL FUCKING SMELL IT!!!!!
I didnt even want to breathe in through my mouth it was so bad. I quickly finished the conversation and held my breath till I was out of the room where I let out a huge gasp for air.
Fucking butrez. It is such a bad smell. The worst thing is I really just dont know what it is. It didnt smell like BO, bad feet, bad breath…it was just awful. I just caled it OPS (old people smell).
I must say it took me ages to get the stench out of the boudaries of my inner nose walls, but I eventually forgot about it.
Anyway so a few days later I was buying a shwarma in a restaurant when I caught an essence of a smell once known to my proboscis, (if you havent oticed yet, I lov to pretend I know all these scietific names for body parts, but i honestly just google this shit), and then it hit me…. OPS alert . My body tried too warn me but it just malfunctioned. As the seconds went by it became more and more potent. When I turned around, and low and behold there was an old woman there. I swear I literally said “oh for fuck”, obviously not loud enough for the old lady to hear it, but the guy making the shwarma gave me an odd glance.
Why the fuck do old people have OPS?? Why?? This really is the 8th wonder of the world. And you know what….its fucking rediculous because no people should smell exactly the same, but when an old person smells, you can guaranfuckingtee you know whats coming. And the wirst thing is your body just screws up when you smell it. Forget the missiles and nuclear bombs inwars, throw some smell old people down there!!!!
OPS. Beware of it.